“What’s so funny about peace, love and understanding.”
Elvis Costello
The next life changing event for us again related to the written word. It was a series of transmissions received by David Spangler, (author and educator) from a non physical intelligence that made itself known as “limitless love and truth”. Received and printed in the Findhorn Community, it shed a light at last on the questions we had about what was taking place in the world through human consciousness. Reading the transmissions was very affirming and wholly inspiring, resonating deeply with our own feelings concerning the arrival time of a ‘collective awakening’ and how we all had the capacity to bring this about as well as its necessary urgency.
It was all about connection and community, our engagement and loving stewardship of the natural world, the values that had been misplaced to a great extent in our culture since the rise of materialism and the consumer society. Neither of us really knew what this meant, collectively, never having experienced it except fleetingly, with friends, and it was this that was missing from our lives and what we had hungered for, unconsciously, the sense of working with others to bring something new and wonderful about, a lovely life, more lovely than one could achieve simply for oneself alone, using spiritual principles, attunements, kindness and co-operation, team spirit! And this, it seemed, was what the small community at Findhorn, was all about. (This had nothing to do with ‘communism’, which is based, I believe, on a fairly materialistic ideology with no regard for spiritual values).
We knew then that we wanted to be part of what was happening at Findhorn. It seemed like an exciting, pioneering thing to do. It wasn’t simply about growing fruit and veg and gardens with a new regard to nature, it was also about growing people and awareness.
We learned from reading the small pamphlet of the original Garden Story, that Peter and Eileen Caddy and Dorothy Maclean, the original founders were of our parent’s generation. Stalwart and well seasoned travellers on the spiritual path, their lives dedicated to spirit, tempered with tests and travails that had led them to this point, this place.
I can’t recall if we wrote to Eileen and Peter to introduce ourselves first. I know Michael phoned Peter to tell him what lovely people we were and how we were ‘meant’ to come and live as part of the Community!
We were invited to visit for a week and because it was a long way and travel was expensive in those days, we were frustrated in our plans, as we lived a frugal sort of life, based on simplicity. In a second phone call, Peter said we needed to put the ‘laws of manifestation’ into action, that had been mentioned in “The Findhorn Garden”. So, we asked everyone we knew who cared about us and had more money than us, if they’d like to give us some! Of course, this wasn’t the answer though it did help us get through some inhibitions as well as losing some friends.
Autumn was moving in and we didn’t want to visit in winter when the weather could be severe in Scotland. Also, I was newly pregnant with Amber, Michael had been first to express a real wish for another child and companion for Ruby to grow up with, the rest had been easy and would continue to be so with our Amber Angel. So, we wanted to sense that new life was emerging on all levels. Then a miracle of manifestation occurred and we received a cheque in the post for several hundred pounds, a huge amount in those days. It came from British Rail on account that our big antique trunk that should have been delivered to our address in Ireland went missing; we’d harangued them a few times, then given up. Ruby went to stay with Carl and Edie, the first time we had been parted for more than a day.
There were some wonderful moments in that week, that seemed to pass so quickly. The first, was travelling through Scotland as the sun rose and seeing that indeed it was another land. The northerly light, clearer and somehow brighter, the high ground and rugged terrain, acres of heath and heathers, spruce and pine as well as stunning vistas of mixed mature woodlands, the raging peaty torrents as the train moved alongside streams and rivers in spate, the landscape taking on the pristine beauty that is at the heart of this country. So first I fell in love with Scotland and as the scenes unfolded, the hills, moors and distant mountains, we could only look at one another and nod, there were no words sufficient to express this mutual sense of homecoming.
We were met at Forres station by Joanie (Joan Hartnell-Beavis) a woman of Edie’s age. She wore white kid gloves and drove an elderly Mercedes. Joannie was very distinguished in voice and dress as well as open and kindly, a twinkle in her eyes, we liked one another immediately and later, when we had tea with her (afternoon tea parties were ‘de rigour’ in those days in the community) she told us she had worked for many years in the Diplomatic Service abroad and was now a dedicated friend to Peter and Eileen, acting as their secretary and treasurer. Also she took us by surprise when she spoke of ‘our space brothers’ and how they were bathing the Earth in high frequency energies of light and love in order to help awaken humanity before we created a global catastrophe. Elsewhere in the Cosmos, she told us, dwelt highly evolved beings, we were at the very ‘bottom’ of the spectrum, so to speak, when it came to ‘evolved’ consciousness. Space beings had not yet entered our inner mythology, but as we would discover, there was so much to learn, not least of which, was that quite ordinary looking people could be so extraordinary.
We’d been taken to meet Peter on our arrival, who was doing some D.I.Y. in one of the many caravans, big stationary affairs, not the sort that travel behind a car, and solid, rather like a small home though a bit narrow. I was first struck by the incredible blueness of his eyes and his immense vitality and vigour, as well as his presence and ability to be just that, completely in the present. He wore a cream coloured Arran sweater, which I will always associate with Peter as he wore it constantly over the years, as well as an old Tweed jacket with leather arm patches. He seemed pleased to meet us and took us to meet Eileen, who made us all Barley Cup, which I’d never tasted before; we sat and spoke of our journey and our larger journey and sensed we were being assessed. Of Michael’s drug addiction, Peter said “If you are going to make a mistake it may as well be a really big one, then you will always remember the lessons that needed to be learned.” I admired their openness towards us, for really we had no great skills or gifts to offer this burgeoning, lovingly hand crafted place, other than the wish to be a part of what felt like something wonderful, exciting and new and I think our enthusiasm was palpable, because there and then we were accepted as future Members, though Peter made it clear we would have to manifest our own caravan.
Everywhere in that small acreage that was the early community there was an orderliness that reflected Peter’s background as an Ex Squadron Leader in the R.A.F., Eileen too came from a military background where daily disciplines were the accepted norm. This was no “hippy commune”, neither was money paramount either. Everything had been manifested step by step over a number of years, by following Eileen’s guidance from ‘Source’, Peter’s intuitions as well as Dorothy’s guidance from the Nature Kingdom. The most recent project had been the Community Centre and kitchen that could cater for up to three hundred. Eileen had received guidance that many people would begin to arrive and they needed to be ready. There had been gifts and generous donations and where there is faith and a genuine need to be met, Peter told us, anything is possible.
Looking around, the evidence of this was tangible. The new mobile homes, small bungalows, five of which had been bought by members to live in, in their retirement years. Another bungalow was affiliated with altruistic work connected to ‘Amnesty International’ and owned by Anthony Brook, the last white Raja of Sarawak and his colleague Monica Parish. Another had been gifted to the community for the use of guests by a wealthy Californian benefactor; the gardens around them, newly planted and lovingly landscaped, the large vegetable garden on a reclaimed rubbish dump with its tidy rows of huge autumn vegetables, organically grown of course, using an abundance of home grown compost on top of poor sandy soil. In response to our questions, Peter said that where you had a small group of dedicated individuals, who were willing to put the needs of the ‘whole’ first and rise above ego struggles and the personality, in co-operation with spirit, one another and the nature kingdom, then miracles could occur and heaven brought down to earth.
As we became acquainted with the Members, about forty-eight souls, we heard a unified vision, though there was also a great deal of diversity, co-existing in a harmonious juxtaposition. We heard how this place was a spiritual ‘power point’ and on a ‘ley line’ connected to other, ancient places of power and light, one at Iona and one at Glastonbury and that in fact the Earth had a ‘spiritual body’ that was being ‘activated’ in this New Age, helping to cleanse and transmute ancient wounds and darkness.
‘Centres’ of dedicated people by living lives of loving simplicity and faith were helping to activate, power points all over the world, linking together at times, in prayerful communion, helping to usher in a new consciousness of harmony and good will. A collective awakening was on the agenda for humanity and this community, among others, was a precursor, demonstrating that if a few could do it, then so could the many; developing ways of how this could happen, new ‘blue prints’.
It all sounded very radical in those days of nineteen seventy, as were the people. Most surprisingly they were nearly all into their late middle years, their backgrounds were professional, they were astute and perceptive with strong idealistic/spiritual leanings and we found much to talk about with almost everyone.
I was thrown in at the deep end by Eileen and Joannie, making a cauliflower cheese, baked tatties and carrots for sixty people! I had only ever cooked for six at most. They said they’d be my assistants but I had to organise the meal and be ‘focaliser’. They, of course, could have prepared it with their eyes closed, in that gloriously equipped kitchen and Eileen pointed out that everything was of the best quality. One of the precepts, when meeting a need was to expect the best, not second best and that went for ourselves as well, to be the best and to give the best, in every situation. It was liberating to think in such an expansive way and listening to these wise women, while peeling vegetables, their words made a huge impression on me, and cooking for sixty people was an expansive experience and I needed to be tested.
Michael was helping Pete Godfray to lay pipes between the bungalows and it was made very clear to us that this was a ‘working’ community and Peter and Eileen’s philosophy was that the powerful energies of this place needed to be grounded in the practical expression of work and work, was in fact, “love in action”, this became one of the community catch phrases! Also, it was stressed, the importance of cultivating a loving attitude to the many tasks in order to ground the right vibrations. We were told that this wasn’t a place to come and ‘live’ in order to simply ‘be’ in a community of like-minded people, but a place dedicated to service. Everyone was expected to roll up their sleeves and ‘muck in’ on a daily basis and give their best. It sounds like serious stuff but in fact there was a lot of constant good humour as well as light hearted banter around.
The day began at 8.20 in the lovely cedar wood building that served as ‘the Sanctuary’. We’d gather for a twenty-minute meditation and Eileen or Peter would read out the guidance that Eileen had received the night before as she sat for several hours in this space communing with spirit. These words were inspiring and practical. It felt very unifying to gather in this way and there was also an evening sanctuary, without words but with inspiring music that people took turns to share, Bach, Vaughan Williams, Mozart, or even a piano recital on the baby grand (gifted by a member as it wouldn’t fit in their small bungalow!)
The days were spent in mindful activity together, creating the gardens, preparing the two main meals and all the many chores involved in building and maintaining a small growing community. Mostly, it felt joy filled, as well as a stretch.
We were taken to the beach at Findhorn’s north shore on the Moray Firth, for a walk with our new friends, John and Mary Hilton. He, a retired bank manager, and she, an artist, a warm affable couple and despite our age differences we found much to talk about. Neither of us had ever seen miles and miles of pristine beaches unmolested by theme parks and all the beach side palaver of English shore lines. It seemed remarkable too that the ancient sand dunes were protected, that Scotland was a conservation country. Our other field trip, again with John and Mary was to Randolph’s Leap, a beautiful wooded area on high ground with the pristine and lovely River Findhorn flowing through steep cliffs and marbled rocky channels, its source in the Cairngorms. It was one of the most blessed places I had ever walked and I felt the veil between worlds dissolve and was uplifted for days after.
I recall little of that last winter in Kent. It was a time of completion and preparation for our new life. I wanted to see Salsa before leaving. There was never any doubt in my heart concerning my betrayal of my closest friend. Looking back at the last decades of the twentieth century, its apparent in our western culture, that extended family became the ‘norm’, as did single parenting and all alternative modes of loving relationships. While the traditional moulds were broken, as well as many hearts and minds, it seems that the new paradigm in loving relationships has been all about change and transformation, of plumbing the depths in order to discover or uncover our transpersonal selves and this subject could fit into as many books and personal stories as there are people who have been torn apart and transformed by love.
I visited Salsa thinking I could make a first step in reconciliation. No-one was home, to my great relief. I had no idea how I could begin a simple conversation, never mind anything else. There were no models or blueprints in place then. Collectively we have come a long way in redefining new and pioneering modes of family life. We can either see it as liberating or devastating, nevertheless, it is what it is. It would be almost twenty years before we were in touch. Happily, there was no rancour. Salsa’s life had been good and adventurous, shared with a loving partner.
We were put on the spot by most everyone we knew, as to why we were doing what we were doing. In those days it was unheard of to live in an intentional community and viewed with suspicion and even contempt.
The night before we leave for Scotland I have a profound dream. I’m with Yogananda, who I regarded as our guiding star in that final year in Kent. He lays his hands on my head in a blessing and tells me that my path is one of devotion. My heart opens in gratitude for all that has passed.
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About the photos: A big Thank You to my grandson Ziggy for enhancing the appearance of many of my somewhat battered and ancient photos from the ’70s.
I live very simply in this land I love. On returning to the area with my daughter Jade, I found joy in volunteering in the life of the Community; until Covid, then everything changed.
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