The story of Derek began in Scotland, in the town of Ellon, Aberdeenshire. When we met in Cluny in September 2023, he recognised my accent and laughed that there were hardly any other Scots at Findhorn. It was true; a richly international and multi-generational community with few Scottish voices.

Recently, Derek told me his remarkable life story. I was deeply touched. His journey, like so many of ours, carries the echoes of struggle, loss, healing and rediscovery.

In his early years, Derek worked as a seaman on the North Sea routes, later delivering aviation fuel to ports across Asia during the Vietnam War, an experience that left lasting scars. “I felt I had betrayed my soul,” he said quietly. Returning to Aberdeen in his thirties, he followed the expected path; marriage, house, steady work, and eventually his own transport business. Yet beneath the surface he was tormented by a deep unhappiness he could not explain. The sound of helicopters at Aberdeen airport would trigger sudden waves of anguish. With professional help he came to understand that he was suffering from post-traumatic stress. Vietnam’s pain was still living within him.

A compassionate counsellor asked, “Where do you see yourself when you are at peace?”

Opening Doors within cover“In a garden, just being,” he replied. She suggested Findhorn. Derek joined Experience Week at Cluny, and in the gardens found the peace he had longed for. On his last day he bought Eileen Caddy’s Opening Doors Within for his mother , then read that day’s passage himself and felt his heart open. He bought a second copy for his own journey.

Later, the counsellor asked another question: “When are you happiest?”

“When I’m travelling, or planning a trip,” he said. “Then plan one,” she smiled, “you don’t even have to go.” Derek began to plan, and then he went. From Europe to India, and across the Karakoram Highway to Tibet, he watched golden dawns over mountains and visited temples and ashrams. Yet nowhere touched his heart quite like Cluny. In a Tel Aviv bookshop, almost out of money, he was drawn to a book on the Kabbalah. He noted the title and author and ordered it once home , another doorway opening.

Back in Scotland, Derek rejoined Cluny, working in several departments until a staff place opened. When told it would begin in September, he surprised himself by saying, “It’s March or not at all.” After a pause came the answer: “Yes.” For the first time, his inner truth and outer life aligned.

What followed were years of fulfilment. He married Monica, and their son (now twenty-two and studying in Germany) remains a source of joy. After living abroad, Derek returned to Findhorn fifteen years ago. He served as Focaliser of the Dining Room, bringing to Cluny the high standards of his earlier career in restaurant management.

Now retired, Derek lives peacefully at the Park, content and reflective. You may see him again in November, reprising his old role as Dining Room Focaliser for our celebration at Cluny. Ask him about the Kabbalah, and about the long road that led him home.