Cornelia Fellner Featherstone

I came to Findhorn in 1987 because I was yearning for a spiritual context for my life. In the Community I experienced a homecoming which was so deep and precious that I had to come back and do the ‘student programme’ in spring 1988.

I made this decision out of the fullness of life and a wealth of choice—I was at a stage where I had achieved a lot of what I had set out to do—I had managed to get through medical school and was a qualified doctor ready to take up my place as a GP. Yet, what I had thought would be the fulfilment of ‘Life’s purpose’, left me still missing an essential central aspect—‘IT’ as I called it for the lack of an appropriate name. And I found ‘IT’ in the Findhorn Community—even though (or perhaps even because?) I was notworking as a doctor but in Cluny Garden and later in the kitchen there. After a year people would ask me what would make me stay beyond my student time. The answer, which came, was two reasons: I would stay if I would have a child and if I would find work, which would allow me
to use all of my potential.

Within a few weeks of saying that, I was in a committed relationship with Alan Watson—and we do now have a child together—although it took a few years before Kevin joined us. And I had the vision for a holistic health centre in the Community, which would use all of my skills and experiences as a doctor and much more. So I was to stay—and I did stay, happily.

Community and health became my main work for the next nine years. By 1990 I was the Focaliser of the Health and Wholeness department, which looked after members and guests, and I started a small private practice to allow people who wished to see me for medical services. Our facilities at Cluny were wonderful with the Bodhi Room for massage and bodywork and a counselling room. However the premises at the Park were not ideal. ‘Merlin’ the trusty old caravan was beyond its best and if you were unlucky water would drip onto your face when you were having a massage during a rain shower. At that stage the staff of the department had expanded and attracted a number of enthusiastic people. We made the commitment to find a beautiful and healthful healing environment. This we manifested in the most remarkable way with the help of many generous and inspired supporters. By August 1991 we moved into one of the first ecological houses built at Bagend and called it ‘Meridian’.

In the coming years the core group of the re-named ‘Holistic Health Department’ organised four successful international conferences named ‘Medical Marriage’, and ran an educational programme and the Community Health Scheme in the Findhorn Bay Holistic Health Centre. This scheme allowed us to provide daily reception services, the treatment facilities at Meridian and many other health and awareness promoting services.

Because our work had expanded and blossomed the Findhorn Foundation felt that it was time for the fledgling to leave the nest and set up its own charity. We founded Holistic Health Care, a registered charity, in 1993.

In 1994 we bought a beautiful old house in the centre of Forres and set up HealthWorks, a complementary health centre, where I worked as a doctor together with a group of complementary practitioners.

One more highlight of the network and co-operation established over the years was the publication of the book, Medical Marriage. Over 40 people who either lived in the Community or had participated in one of our conferences wrote contributions for this textbook for health professionals. It is now used by many students and practitioners and even government committees in Norway and in London. For me it is one of those seeds of the spirit of Findhorn which spread out and affect change in the world.

As it is with many organisations, time brings change and after expansion comes consolidation. So also for Holistic Health Care. Since 1993 I had planned to go on a Sabbatical journey in September 1998 for my 40th birthday—to have a break rather than a midlife crisis. Due to many circumstances neither the staff nor the money were available to continue the work of the Findhorn Bay Holistic Health Centre and so we decided to close it in May 1998.Whilst many people feel sad about the loss, many of the services are still available in a more decentralised form. Individuals have stepped into the breach and taken up specific aspects of the work. Groups, like ‘Alanna’ (offering respite and hospice work) have joined together to serve the Community. And there is an overall feeling of a germination time for a new phase of health care provision in the Community.

Whilst I was on my Sabbatical in Australia it became clear that the best way for me to serve the Community was to join the National Health Service as a GP. In that way I can apply the lessons of Medical Marriage in the ‘real’ world.

So at the moment I am working as a GP down the coast from Findhorn—re-learning the skills of orthodox medicine—especially drug use. To my great surprise and happiness I feel welcome and appreciated for the different medical care I provide. My ‘fringe’ experience with complementary therapies is seen as an asset and both colleagues and patients are happy for me to provide care which integrates the more natural and self-help approaches with orthodox medicine.

I hope that eventually I shall be able to work in Forres so that the Community members can see me on the NHS without the strain on their finances which private care presents. It is still my ideal to work with people who know me and who I know well, where the roles of patient and doctor are not the only ones we hold for each other. For me healing happens in the relationship and that relationship is formed in community.

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This post was previously published as a chapter in the book Growing People, compiled and edited by Kay Kay, published by Pilgrims Guide, 2001.