Editor’s note: This account was previously published in Visions Unseen, Frances shares her story of how she visited and eventually joined the community in the early 1970s.

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A visit to the Findhorn Foundation

I decided it was time to take a break and a trip north to Scotland again, spend time with family and friends and visit my beloved mountains. When I wrote to Anne that I was going on holiday to Scotland, she phoned back at once to say that, in the same post as my letter she had received an envelope of information about a community in Scotland called the Findhorn Foundation.

As the correspondence had come together she wondered whether there could be some significance. Would I go and visit the Foundation for our group while I was up? It also happened that the Foundation was putting on a whole-day presentation in London just before I was leaving which our entire group decided to attend.

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The day proved magical. These happy outgoing people had been packed into buses close to Inverness some 650 miles north. They had travelled overnight to London before launching straight away into an amazingly full, joy-filled programme of song, dance and audio-visuals for our pleasure. There was something very different about them all such love flowing in everything they did. Among other things, they showed a video about R. Ogilvie Crombie, “Roc,” who was in close and profound contact with all realms of the Nature Kingdom.

The founding members of the Findhorn Foundation, Eileen and Peter Caddy along with Dorothy Maclean, were at this time living in caravans in Findhorn. Dorothy had begun to communicate with the unseen worlds of the Devas in order to receive their guidance, which was to prove vital both for their physical and, spiritual well-being. Roc was instrumental in extending the knowledge of these Worlds, and broadening the range of Beings contacted. These communications and relationships were the bedrock upon which the Findhorn Foundation, was subsequently built.

There are many books on this subject so I will not expand on it here, except to say that as the video showed Roc telling of his experiences with the Nature Kingdom I became transfixed. As he described his contacts in such a real and calm way I felt as if at last I had encountered an old, old friend. He actually spoke quite naturally and rationally about the extraordinary phenomena that I myself had been experiencing – and I had been drawing them just as he saw them. Here was a man I knew I had to meet. But I was told, “No, he does not live in the Community – a very private person, he lives somewhere in Edinburgh.”

But still I knew clearly that I had to meet Roc.

So, at the commencement of my holiday in September of 1972, I phoned to ask if I could, have one night in the Foundation on return from my travels further north. Yes, they had a bed.

Driving down I arrived at a vibrant, lovely garden, finding myself among some 350 people, mainly American but with many other nationalities as well. My bed was to be a minute bunk in a caravan full of Yugoslavs. Conversation was friendly but limited, and mostly in hasty sketches. Luckily however my guide for the day was English. All was fascinating – studios for weaving pottery candle-making, screen-printing and graphic design; a garden sanctuary, Community Centre, and lots and lots of caravans. It was another world. The intense interaction and activity left me quite overwhelmed. I loved it all and it felt like home but at the same time I thought I could not live there.

When I asked if there was any possibility of meeting Roc, my guide produced an audio-tape of him talking about his experiences with the Nature Kingdom. We listened together basking in the sun on a grassy bank.

This was a man with an amazing and rare connection
With the Devic and Nature Spirit Realms.

Roc saw them and conversed with them. Even more I knew I must find him. However my time had run out. I could not visit Roc in Edinburgh, as I had to return to Brighton for work the following day.

The following morning one of the Foundation gardeners asked me if he could travel with me to Brighton as he wanted to visit his father. I was putting the car on the train and told him I had no money for a second ticket as I had already overdrawn to come up to Findhorn. He went silent a moment, then said, “I think it is going to be all right. I would like to come.” And he turned on his heel and disappeared.

I was about to learn a profound lesson in living the Findhorn Foundation way of life, living by faith with no thought for where the next penny might come from, or if it was really needed.

My fellow-traveller shortly returned with the cost of the ticket in his hand. A friend had just received some unneeded money, so gave it to him. As I had a sleeper booked, I asked will you sit up in the seating compartment, or have you enough for the extra cost or the sleeper?”

Again a pause, “I’ll have a sleeper please.”

I booked him in as my passenger and got the last sleeper in the men’s compartment. He came an hour later with the right sum, saying, “I have money for petrol and I will bring sandwiches for us both.”

In those days I was an insecure. nervous and shy person. This was a new experience. I did not know this man at all, but it felt fine. We had a fascinating journey and we talked a lot about Roc and the Nature Spirits. We consumed a box full of delicious vegetarian sandwiches for dinner and breakfast, drove on from London to Brighton, and I delivered, him to his father’s home. He had money left over and absolutely insisted that it had been given to him for the journey and made me take it leaving himself again with no money at all. Arriving home and opening my case I found someone had slipped an envelope in containing exactly what I had paid to go up and stay my twenty four hours at the Findhorn Foundation.

I made up my mind there and then that Findhorn
Was where I would spend my next year’s summer holiday!

I had always said firmly I would not go back to Scotland, but this was something totally different. Something had changed in me with this journey and brief visit to Findhorn. My travel companion had taught me a clear lesson in faith and manifestation and demonstrated that I could do the same. The following year I booked for two weeks in July, and then discovered that Roc would be visiting there at the same time.

My Second Stay at Findhorn

In those days at the Foundation there were no workshops or any set programmes for visitors. You just had to be willing to do whatever was needed in any area. Everyone took a turn at cleaning. . .

Cleaning the toilets to perfection with love
Being the prized experience!

Any resentment and you found you would be left with the job! I worked at cleaning, cooking and also in the candle-making studio. Your learning was all day, in any place you were working, – eating meals, listening to tapes together, and of course attending Sanctuary twice a day. We worked at whatever was needed from 8:30am to 5:30pm, then were asked to change clothes and appear for dinner at 6:30pm. Usually there was some form of lecture, film or activity in the evening which we were all expected to attend. This was the regime seven days a week!

I found it overwhelming on the one hand, yet very special on the other. Drawings continued to come, although my sensitivity was without doubt being pressurised by the proximity of so many people. I achieved my ambition of meeting Roc briefly at this time, in spite of his being constantly in demand by everyone. As I had expected we instantly developed a close rapport which was later to grow into a deep and supportive friendship.

One day I was told that the right place to be drawing was in what was called the Middle Studio. This was one of the craft studios in the Pineridge area, some distance from the mobile home where I was staying. The building had very tall foxgloves growing in its garden, frequently visited by huge and lovely bumblebees.

I thought I would try tuning into a foxglove plant but as I did not feel free to break the stem. I sat down nearby and asked if I could draw something related to the plant.

Walking some four hundred yards over to the Studio, and finding just one other person quietly drawing, I settled myself close to an open window. My drawing was simple, like a vibrational pattern and it was complete in about fifteen minutes, but what took place afterwards was fascinating. As I sat in the silence studying the drawings simplicity, a large bumblebee flew in at the window straight to the drawing; then slowly buzzed its way spirally from the page up about four feet racing inwards as it slowly hovered. After repeating the flight from bottom to top the bee zoomed back out of the open window. My drawing companion asked what had happened. Explaining the unusual journey the bee had taken around the drawing, she calmly replied, “It was probably looking for the flowers.”

This sounded a bit far-fetched to me, so later I asked Roc. “Oh, yes’’ he said. “The drawing is the vibrational pattern or field of the plant, and carries that vibration. The bee would in fact have been looking for the flowers because it is the vibrational field that they pick up and home in on to get the nectar.”

Peter Caddy believed that you can ask plants to grow bigger, and his demonstration with flowers was with a foxglove in his own garden. He claimed it grew to eight feet. I tried the same in our garden by saying, “Please grow tall”, as I passed the plant every day. It went up to seven-and-a-half feet. In the wild they grow about four feet tall.

If you would like to try it, choose a patch of several plants
and ask one of the specifically to grow tall.
That should give you a definitive demonstration.
Or if you have two clear patches
have one patch normal and the other tall.
Just send the plant your love and ask it to grow tall.
With the assistance of the Foxglove Deva, The Nature Beings
Are very happy to give any co-operation we ask of them.

On this my second visit to Findhorn I was now staying in the Universal Foundation bungalow. One day I had a rare couple of hours to do as I liked, so I went to the shop and bought a few things. On my way back

I caught my shy, reserved self
Sort skipping and dancing my way along.

I could feel something round my legs tugging my slacks like a puppy trying to get my attention. I began to giggle uncontrollably. Whatever was happening to me? I tried to compose myself but back it came, persistent and friendly all the way to my bungalow. No one was there and I felt to miss lunch and draw.

The whole drawing proceeded in dots – lots of pencil and then colour, a ball-shaped body, a smaller ball for the head, long flowing rabbity ears. It was like drawing grains of sand held together with seawater. Dancing feet, like boots, and raised little arms with “hands”, and eyes like a fish.

I was laughing away all the time.
With a feeling of fun and friendliness.

It told me it was a Sand Goblin. Thinking the drawing complete after an hour and having to return to my work in the candle-making studio, as I wrapped candles in cellophane I could feel this little Being trying to get my attention again. I reluctantly persuaded it to let me work until 5:30pm when I would be free. As I went home to my bungalow it was again tugging at my clothes. I knew I had to draw more. What could it be? When I sat with the pad and crayons I found it wanted the addition of an arc of sand between its hands. It had brought its own sand! Then it vanished.

But how do you explain that
you have just had a dig in the ribs from a Sand Goblin?

I was unduly sharp with it in my thoughts and the Goblin vanished. It did not contact me again for about two months. I was so sad because I felt sure I had hurt its feelings. Sharing my experience with Roc, he told me that Nature Spirits don’t have such feelings, and that it would return. And it did about eight weeks later, still as joyful as ever. Roc left for home before I had a chance to talk with him at any length except to ask if perhaps I could visit him in Edinburgh on my way back south, and he very kindly invited me to lunch at his home.

Before I left the Foundation I was asked to talk with Peter Caddy, who at that time was responsible for saying who might come to live in the Community. Now I had not yet thought to live at Findhorn, but I found I was asking, “If one wanted to come, what is the procedure?”

Peter explained to me that British citizens were encouraged to buy their home — a caravan usually, as the site was in fact a caravan park. “Above all, you would come to serve in whatever way was needed, pay a weekly contribution for your keep and provide for your own needs.” And Peter added, “If you can manifest the means to come, you will know it is right to come.”

I put the idea to the back of my mind. I would have to give up my job. There was no such thing as paid work in the Foundation then, and I only had a very small sum in savings. Although my stay had been rich in experience, it was also hugely challenging. Most of the Community members at that time were American. To the sensitive and very retiring Scot in me, their outgoing and youth energy was completely overpowering. I was known for bursting into tears at the slightest provocation.

I set off south with little thought of returning, heading first for Edinburgh to accept Roc’s luncheon invitation. We had a simple and delicious lunch together and afterwards he asked to see my drawings. He was keenly interested, totally accepting, and understood precisely the process by which they had come. He seemed quietly excited at what I had drawn, particularly the latest one drawn at Findhorn, the Sand Goblin whom he greeted with obvious complete recognition. I was surprised at his excitement and asked why he felt that way when he was already able to see and communicate with Nature Spirits and Devas.

“Ah, but you see, many people tell me,
‘I see Nature Spirits too,’
but I have no way of knowing if they really do,
and what they are actually seeing.
However, what you are drawing here is exactly what I see,
especially the Sand Goblin.”

I told Roc I had been strongly challenged on this drawing by several people at the Foundation because he had described Sand Goblins in his taped talk. “No,” he said, “I deliberately did not fully describe them. I did say they had a body like a ball and ears like a rabbit but not that they had very short arms and legs, hands like claws and no toes.”

I had not realised that my drawing had these features. What elation to now learn that this wonderful man saw exactly what I was drawing! We both felt the presence of the Sand Goblin in and around us as we were talking. Then somehow we fell silent for quite some time – a powerful silence, like a conversation at a Higher Level. I always say it was the most beautiful “conversation” I have ever experienced – not an earthly word spoke for about half an hour.

It was as if the room was filled with Nature Spirits.

I travelled down south with a glow of joy and peace all the way. What a privilege to meet such a special human being, wise, unassuming, delightful, with a lovely sense of humour and also a truly Cosmic Being.

I later discovered that Roc’s contact with the great god Pan, described in The Findhorn Garden occurred in 1966 the same year I began to receive the drawings.

Going to Live at the Findhorn Foundation

The following year, in August 1973, a brief letter came from Peter Caddy offering me the opportunity to buy a caravan in the Foundation. As I mentioned earlier, I had only enquired! As soon as this letter was in my hand, however, I knew I was going to Findhorn. The very next day another letter arrived, this from my mother who had decided to give me some of the proceeds from selling her house, as she always saw it as my real home. Suddenly I had just been presented with the means to both buy the caravan and pay my way at Findhorn for a whole year!

So gladly did I give in my notice to leave my teaching job that all were convinced I was returning to Scotland having fallen in love. In a sense, I had.

One of the staff asked if we knew of anyone selling a refrigerator. “Yes,” I said, “come this evening and see it.” Had I any other things to sell? Everything except the bed belonged to me. Unhesitatingly buying it all, even the carpets, he collected the lot two days later, leaving me just a few essential belongings and my suitcases, ready packed. Saying good-bye to my friends in the south was the hardest part, but I knew more clearly than ever that I had made the right decision. On the appointed day I coaxed my little groaning car up to London, and onto the Motor-Rail bound for Scotland.

Again visiting Roc in Edinburgh en route, in blissful silence we took a wonderful walk in the Royal Botanic Garden together. It was like being accepted into his special circle of Nature Beings. I certainly looked forward to living closer to him. Driving the last 150 miles north and arriving at Findhorn on September 21st, a brilliant, sunny day, I found a spotlessly clean, sparkling caravan flowers and a bed all made up, all prepared lovingly by a group of housecarers.

This was the start of a very different life, not at all what I expected.
As happens to most people who come to live at the Findhorn Foundation

Peter Caddy had felt guided to offer me the caravan because of my drawings. The Foundation was famous for its close if controversial co-operation with the Nature Kingdom at that time, and, working in the garden, Peter thought I would now be able to produce lots of drawings of Nature Spirits. So convinced was he, that somehow we couldn’t communicate.

Unable to conjure up drawings to order I needed time, and above all space and tranquillity to be available to any Nature Being who might want to be drawn. Busily employed as I was like everyone else, from 8:30am to 5:30pm, at the end of the working day I was in no condition to receive and channel drawings. I felt very guilty, while Peter kept telling me to draw! This caused me such distress that I would frequently burst into tears. I was put to watering the gardens!

Some twenty years later Peter told me that eventually he had been afraid to speak to me. The fear was mutual! My sensitivity was no doubt due to the unusual pressure into which I had been drawn. Peter always made it clear that in order to stay in the Foundation you had to be able and willing to engage in hard physical work. Seen as essential and applied ruthlessly in those early days, Peters regime resulted in the impressively rapid growth of the Findhorn Foundation Community.

In retrospect it is clear that Peter was applying the same principle to my psychic work as had worked for him on the physical level. Of course, it did not apply. On the contrary it blocked the process. Happily for me Roc intervened, helping Peter to see that I really had to be given more space if he wanted me to draw.

At last I did start to receive a few rare drawings, the first of which was the Compost Gnome. I was working afternoons in the gardens. We were all close to nature in many ways and used to meet and talk of our inner work and experiences and exchange information. One afternoon, having had a lovely tea together, we went home earlier than usual. My home at that time was a trailer right at the far end of the caravan site, the part now known as Bag End.

As I walked back, I was conscious of a Being coming with me.
Not a joyful, bouncy Elf but rather more earthy in feeling.

I found myself experiencing the most extraordinary sensation.

I felt myself getting shorter and shorter, stocky,
Pacing steadily along with my feet getting bigger and bigger.

When I reached my caravan I sat down to draw. The brown and earthy Compost Gnome was drawn. I should explain that the Gnomes work with the soil and the earth, and they come in all shapes and sizes. This one felt to me to be about eighteen inches tall. I always hope that someday I may be given drawings of the whole Being, but up to now I only receive heads in detail, perhaps because it is hard for them to stay close for long enough for a whole “body” drawing to be completed.

The Sand Goblin is the only complete body drawing,
But then we have to be shown his completeness
To appreciate his unique “physiology.”

On another occasion, soon after I had been talking with Roc, and still working in the garden very close to Nature, I once again felt the quick spirit of a Nature Being and I was shown to draw. It turned out to be a Hazel Elf, mischievous and joy-filled, and “he” obviously found it quite a challenge to stay steady to allow the drawing to happen.

I never did locate a hazel tree specifically, so Hazel Elf may have followed Roc from the Botanic Garden in Edinburgh.

The unique quality particular to faces is emphasised with the next drawing, Duros, which comes from the Findhorn Foundations Cullerne Gardens, a conventional organic garden area that surrounds Cullerne House. As I sat leaning against a poplar trunk enjoying the peace of a lovely day Duros came down out of the tree and I began to draw. Although I was aware of him I was not seeing him.

As I was happily drawing Duros and enjoying his company, the garden began to fill up with a group of lively, talkative guests from a workshop in the House. I tried an experiment. Telling Duros I would have to move to a quieter place, I invited him to come with me to my own tiny studio some 300 yards away down the road. He withdrew.

Would he come with me? As I was settling at my place, Duros did join me again and the drawing was completed. I still didn’t see him but I just knew he was there. Unfortunately I did not remember at the time to ask what Duros’s particular work was but now as I write I can feel him here and I am informed that his work is with the poplar tree.

 

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We all have the potential to see or feel the presence of unseen Beings.
But if you really truly ask to be able to see them
There is a responsibility in invoking them.
They long to work in co-operation with us humans,
But me need to be prepared to accept what shows itself to us.
It can be scary and disconcerting; some can appear really strange.
But also endearing or majestic in a humble may.

And so I slowly put my roots down at the Foundation, where I still live today. [This account was published in 2007. Frances passed away peacefully in her home, Clarepoint, in 2014.]