I came to several events in the Community over the years. When I was living in Nottingham, I got close to my home after a stay at Findhorn, and the steering wheel started turning as if it was trying to turn my car around to go back where I’d come from. I continued on and needed to get some shopping, so I drove into Nottingham City Centre, as I stopped at traffic lights, my car window was smashed in and my handbag stolen from the passenger well. I thought; maybe it’s time to leave the city. And so, I did.

I gave notice at work, I was a Principal Lecturer in Health Studies at the Nottingham Trent University, put my house up for sale, and packed some suitcases. The only thing I brought with me apart from that was my piano.

I joined the Findhorn Foundation. After some more guest weeks, I joined the membership program, I made many friends who are friends to this day. It’s a wonderful way of meeting people from different nationalities, I now have friends in Australia and Brazil as well as in Britain.

My piano moved with me into Cullerne House, and I’ve still got it, even though I don’t play anymore. When pianists come to visit, I asked them to play for me.

Hearing a voice in the Park Sanctuary

I went to Taize Singing in the mornings which was followed by the 8.30am meditation. One Monday morning after the singing I was sitting waiting for the meditation to start, there was nobody else in the Sanctuary at the changeover point. Suddenly I heard a voice saying: “You are going to be here for a very long time.”

I looked around to see who had spoken, but there was nobody. I thought it quite weird and yet it was true, I’m still here, 30 years later.

cullerne-house

Cullerne House

After a while in the Foundation membership programme, I moved from a big community in Cluny to the smaller community of Cullerne House. Alan Jacobson was one of the residents. I got to know him at the end of his life, we had many outings going out for lunch etc. He could no longer drive on the road but occasionally he would drive around the car park!

Cornelia asked me to join the Holistic Health Centre and I was seconded by the Findhorn Foundation to work part-time in the newly set up charity. My other job was Focaliser of the General Office, which was next door to the Health Centre office. During that time, along with others I supported Eileen Caddy to look after her close friend Joanie Hartnell-Beavis at the end of her life in 1996.

Much later, in 2004, I became involved in looking after Eileen during her final years.

Conscious Living Conscious Dying conference presenters 1998

Conscious Living Conscious Dying conference presenters 1998

In 1998 I co-focalised the Conscious Living Conscious Dying conference with Cally Miller. I invited Phyllida Templeton to the conference and this was the beginning of her work in the Community which led to the Alanna Trust.

Phyllida invited me to go with her to Bavaria Germany, she said that there was still some healing that needed to happen in that region. I found someone to look after my home and cat, Spicy, and off we went.

On arriving in Bavaria and looking for somewhere to stay we met Margaret who offered us accommodation, she couldn’t speak any English and we didn’t speak much German, but somehow we managed to communicate, we got on very well and she turned out to be a relative of Cornelia.

The person staying in my house forwarded to me a birthday card from a man I dated as a teenager, Don Vincent. I said to Phyllida: “When I go back to England, I’ll look him up.” She said, “You can’t hang around at your age get on with it!” One of her brothers had an apartment in Portugal and she arranged for me and Don to stay there. I flew to England, and Don met me at the airport with his daughter Laura, the next day we travelled to Portugal.

Don came to live with me in Forres and in 2009 we married. We bought a flat and called it ‘An Cala’ which means ‘The Haven’. We wanted it to be a haven for wildlife as well as for us. There’s a lot of wildlife here, ducks on the pond and oyster catchers on the roof of the summerhouse, a seagull that taps on my window every morning. In July the garden is alive with tiny frogs.

I re-engaged with Cluny, I became receptionist on Wednesday afternoons and Don took on dinner cooking, so the Cluny Kitchen Crew could have their attunement time. He loved cooking Wednesday dinner, he always prepared baked potatoes and salads. As an artist, he used to make beautiful arrangements with his salads; guests photographed him with them. Don loved it here. He took to community life.

Barbara and Don Vincent photo Barbara Vincent

With Don on Findhorn beach

As he loved children, he helped organise and compere the Children’s Winter Gathering. Sadly in 2016 Don was diagnosed with terminal cancer. He said: “I don’t want to go anywhere; I love it here.” This was a very difficult time for all of us, but we had a lot of support from the Community Care Group we set up. His son, Mike, came from America to help look after his Dad. That was so helpful because Mike is a great guy. Through that he met his current partner Karen who was one of our care team, they’ve been together for several years now, and I’m very happy they live nearby and are a great support to me!